Essential Money Conversations to Have Before Having Kids

A year or two before we had kids, every time we went to Target, we somehow ended up wandering into the baby section. Those tiny socks were just too cute to resist. It wasn’t serious planning yet, but those little moments made us start thinking about what our future might look like and what it would take to get there. Before we took that next big step, we knew we needed to have the essential money conversations to have before having kids.

Talking about money wasn’t always easy, but laying that foundation early made a huge difference when life (and all the real expenses) started rolling in. Honestly, I never thought I’d leave my full-time job. Growing up, I believed working gave you financial freedom, independence, and empowerment. But after our baby was born and my maternity leave was almost up, something shifted. I decided to take a leap, extend my time at home, and the rest is history.

Now I’m a stay-at-home mom with a few side gigs, a very different rhythm than the steady salary, 401(k) match, and free HSA contributions I once counted on. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but those early essential money conversations before having kids made the transition a lot less overwhelming.

Here’s everything you should sit down and talk about before your family grows.

1. Talk About Your Current Finances

Start with where you are right now. It’s hard to plan ahead if you’re not clear about your starting point.

Ask each other:

• What’s your current salary and income?
• What’s your credit score?
• Do you have any debts (student loans, car loans, credit cards)?
• How much do you have saved?

Having this baseline is the first step in all essential money conversations before having kids.

2. Discuss How You’ll Handle Income Changes

✅ Pro-tip: Double-check your HR policies early. Don’t wait until you’re 8 months pregnant! Maternity leave, paternity leave, FMLA rights, and insurance changes all need early planning.

✅ Pro-tip #2: Research childcare costs early too. Some areas have daycare waitlists so long that people sign up while still trying for a baby.

3. Agree on a Baby Budget and Emergency Fund

It’s a given that baby expenses will be part of your essential money conversations to have before having kids, but actually breaking down the costs can help you get a clearer picture of what to expect. Babies don’t have to break the bank — but they’re definitely not free. Make sure to plan for both the one-time purchases and the ongoing monthly expenses.

How much will baby expenses actually cost?

• Cribs, car seats, strollers
• Diapers, wipes, bottles
• Baby clothes (they grow fast!)
• Prenatal care costs (extra ultrasounds, non-routine testing, prenatal classes like Lamaze)
• Unexpected medical costs for mom (like wrist braces for pregnancy carpal tunnel)

✅ Pro-tip: Set a goal to build a bigger emergency fund (at least 3–6 months of expenses). New babies = unpredictable costs.

✅ Pro-tip #2: Include a line in your budget for unexpected prenatal and delivery expenses. Every pregnancy is different, but there’s always something that will pop up. Small things like wrist braces for pregnancy-related carpal tunnel, new shoes because your feet got bigger (not part of new pregnancy clothes), extra ultrasounds or testings, and hospital parking fees can sneak up on you and they add up faster than you’d think.

4. Life Insurance and Wills

One of the most essential money conversations to have before having kids is how you’ll protect your family financially.

Term Life Insurance:

• Apply early while young and healthy. Rates go up with age, and preexisting conditions can impact approvals.
• Term life insurance is affordable and locks in rates for 20–30 years.
• Many employers offer basic life insurance (like 1–2x your salary) for free, but it disappears if you leave the job.
• Getting your own private term policy ensures coverage no matter where you work.

Wills:

• Name guardians for your child.
• Outline how assets will be distributed.
• Even if you’re just starting out, it’s important to have these basics covered.

5. Health Insurance Check

Reviewing both your employer-provided health plans carefully is also another one of the essential money conversations to have before kids. It’s important to know what your coverage are to help with planning.

• Whose plan is cheaper and better once you add a child?
• Does it make sense to stay on separate plans or combine?
• How much will premiums, deductibles, and out-of-pocket costs change?

Choosing the right health insurance after kids is a major part of essential money conversations before having kids.

✅ Pro-tip: Our first baby was due in January, which meant we paid the deductible twice! Once for prenatal visits and again for labor and delivery after the new year started. If possible, timing your pregnancy can save you thousands.

6. New Expenses to Plan For

✅ Pro-tip: Good daycares sometimes have waitlists months long. Research and get on waitlists early, even during pregnancy if needed!

✅ Pro-tip #2: Add an “unexpected baby expenses” line to your budget for all those little extras, like books, toys, or that adorable (and overpriced) pair of baby shoes. Even if you promise yourself to keep things minimal, chances are you’ll have a moment of weakness and convince yourself that toy or outfit is totally necessary. And yes, even though a crinkly water bottle could’ve done the trick, sometimes the cute stuff wins.

7. Talk About Career Goals (and Changes)

Another big piece of essential money conversations to have before having kids is understanding each other’s work goals and how they might shift once a child enters the picture:

• Do either of you want to stay home later? Full time or part time?
• Are you open to changing jobs or reducing hours after the baby arrives?
• Would either of you be willing to relocate for a better opportunity?
• How important is career growth right now vs. job stability?
• What happens if one of us wants (or needs) to go back to school or change careers?
• How will we handle unexpected overtime or schedule changes?
• Who picks up the baby from daycare if both of us are working late?
• If the baby is sick, who stays home from work?
• Are we okay with outsourcing help (like hiring a nanny or using daycare)?
• How will we divide nighttime duties on workdays?

These questions aren’t just about money. They’re about time, energy, and support, all of which directly impact your finances and your well-being. Talk early so nobody feels blindsided later when life (and job opportunities) evolve.

8. Household Responsibilities

While not strictly a financial topic, it ties into family dynamics and stress management.

Talk about:

• Who will handle daycare pickups?
• Who covers cooking, cleaning, laundry?
• Will division of chores adjust if one partner stays home?
• If one partner earns less, how will non-financial contributions (like childcare) be valued?

Money, time, and energy are all connected. Clear expectations = fewer fights later.

Final Thoughts: Essential Money Conversations to Have Before Having Kids

Essential money conversations to have before having kids isn’t about having every detail figured out perfectly. It’s about setting a strong, honest foundation together.

Life will change.
Budgets will shift.
Career paths might zigzag.

But if you build good communication now, you’ll be ready to handle whatever comes next — together.

It takes work.
It takes patience.
It might even take a few emotional conversations.

But being on the same financial page as you grow your family? That’s one of the best gifts you can give each other and your future kids. One smart step at a time. You’ve got this!

On your side,
Mrs. Money Sidekick

P.S. Looking for more financial advice to support your family or want help building a strong financial foundation together? Check out our Family Finances posts for simple, real-life tips to guide your next steps.

Feature Image People illustrations by Storyset